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Ken Kaniff - KEN KANIFF FROM CONNECTICUT.. THE ALBUM! album review

KEN KANIFF FROM CONNECTICUT.. THE ALBUM! was released digitally by none other than Ken Kaniff (Detroit rapper Aristotle) on his old Ken Kaniff website in the year 2000. KEN KANIFF FROM CONNECTICUT.. THE ALBUM!  This is the album some longtime hardcore fans of Eminem know about. Angelo Rosati Costa was the producer and executive in charge of production. So was Aristotle. Steel Pulse produced the bizarre Babysitter song.

From the text file that was included in his mp3 that was the album sampler KEN KANIFF FROM CONNECTICUT.. THE ALBUM!.:

“ Since Ken Kaniff made his first appearance on Eminem's debut album he's been  in the lab cookin up one hell of a concoction.  He's traveled all over the world to gather a selected few that now makes up his unique, talented and "off the hook" musical entourage.  He's also had the privilege to work with an array of musicians who have help make Ken Kaniff in the legend that he is today. Producer and executive in charge of production, Angelo Rosati Costa, has put together a platinum worthy CD containing tracks produced by Angelo. ”

Ken Kaniff was a character created by Aristotle. This Ken Kaniff was a perverted gay male used in several skits for comic relief. Aristotle alternates between his “Ken Kaniff voice“ and regular rapping style of his on the album. The album can be considered as both sadistic and humourous art the same time. His debut album features diss tracks against Eminem and contains controversial songs. The homosexual persona of Ken Kaniff is the creation of underground Detroit rapper Aristotle and Eminem. Ken Kaniff has a visibly obvious love/hate relationship with Eminem.

The album itself has very explicit and sexually provocative with dark disturbing lyrics. Ken Kaniff highlights homosexuality and attacks Eminem lyrically all over the place. Most of the songs are downright disturbing such as Buy U A Beer, Babysitter, and Ken Is Crazy.

Aristotle never fails to disappoint with his raps. It’s sad that Aristotle did not make it big. Aristotle and Eminem could have made more funny Ken Kaniff skits if Aristotle had not ruined his chance of acceptance by dissing Defari on the Wake Up Show in 1999 and had a baby with his wife Kim. Not to mention the argument over character rights. Comedy rap albums such this masterpiece are pure gold! It’s Ken Kaniff at his best right here. Ken Kaniff should have made more albums than he has. Sadly Ken Kaniff has faded away into obscurity and away from the public eye.



The beginning of the album begins with the Ken Kaniff (Skit) from The Slim Shady LP album by Eminem released in 1999. The funniest skit off any of Eminem’s albums! Ken Kaniff (voiced by Aristotle) calls Eminem in order to have gay sex with him. Homosexual antics ensue. His reaction is hysterical at the end.

At the beginning of the skit is when Ken Kaniff makes a collect call to Eminem from Connecticut, US. (To give Eminem a piece of his mind and ass of course.) A collect call is a call where any person who gets called is actually the one who gets charged for the phone call. Basically Ken Kaniff is calling Emimen and having him pay for the collect call from Connecticut.

In the middle of the skit is when Eminem believes Cage was trying to fuck with him. Eminem is thinking this was a prank call likely performed by the German rapper Cage. Cage was a rapper Eminem dissed at the end of Role Model.

At the very end of the skit is where Aristotle can be heard laughing thus breaking character for a moment. However it could be implied that it was either both Eminem or Ken Kaniff that were laughing. Eminem can be heard snickering thus breaking character for a moment at the very end of this skit.

Read their phone conversation transcript from the lyrics.:

[Ken Kaniff] I'm gonna call this motherfucker. Oh fuck yeah. Give him a piece of my mind. A piece of my ass.
[Operator] Thank you for waiting. Hello. May I help you?
[Ken Kaniff] Oh thank you. I need to make a collect call
[Operator] What number?
[Ken Kaniff] Oh the number is 6-2
[Operator] At the tone, please say your name.
[Ken Kaniff] Kenneth Kaniff from Connecticut. Automated piece of shit.
[Eminem] Yo.
[Ken Kaniff] Hey there, cock boy.
[Eminem] Who is this?
[Ken Kaniff] This is Ken Kaniff.
[Eminem] Who?
[Ken Kaniff] Ken Kaniff from Connecticut. You little bitch.
[Eminem] From Connecticut? I don't know nobody in Connecticut.
[Ken Kaniff] Yeah. You wanna get a hotel room with me?
[Eminem] A hotel room?
[Ken Kaniff] Yeah. You want me to lick your ass, Eminem?
[Eminem] Yo who is this? Cage?
[Ken Kaniff] You want me to fucking melt in your mouth and not in your hand? Melt in your ass, you little cock boy.
[Eminem] Shut up you little bitch.
[Ken Kaniff] Oh, you think I'm lying huh...
[Eminem] Hahahahahaha!


In Buy U A Beer, Ken Kaniff wants to buy some underaged women a beer. Preferably high schools is whom he wants to target. In Buy U A Beer, Ken attempts to perform acts of downright pedophilia in order to buy the women, he wants, a beer.

He is still in high school and he will be lucky to even pass. Ken is real good at most subjects but sucks horribly at math. Ken is 21 and has been in high school for 6 years. The only thing he learned is how to buy beer.

At the beginning is where Ken spits game to ninth-grade hoes by writing love letters and notes with X and Os. For instance, this one girl who sat next to me at a desk. He knew she liked him because she wouldn’t let him cheat off her test. She was kind of cute too, but her tits weren’t developed. By the time she’s sixteen, Ken knowns her breasts will swell up.

They exchanged numbers. So Ken called on her phone. Her mother picked up and Ken said “Is Jennifer home?”
She was screaming and yelling “Now how old are you?”. Ken responded “Old enough to buy your daughter a cold case of brew.”

His attempts at buying underaged women beer are witty. Read the lines to these lyrics.:
When you’re standing in line, buying a three musketeers
I’m right behind you trying to buy you a beer

Ken Kaniff performs acts of outright pedophilia. Read these lyrics for instance.:
Ken Kaniff, I like my pussy young and fresh
I’m off soft warm women with them b-cup breasts

So that means Ken rubs little girls breasts. When they get home, their panties disappear. Throughout the rest of the entirety of this track, Ken talks about how he likes his girls young.


Ken Kaniff makes his return on the song Dotcom. This song differentiates the real Ken Kaniff from the persona Eminem plays.Dotcom serves as a diss aimed towards Eminem and his label mates. Dotcom samples The Real Slim Shady and My Name Is.

The introduction is mocks the introduction of The Real Slim Shady.

Excuse me..
May I have your attention?
Ken Kaniff.
Shut the fuck up!
Little bitch.
Will the real Ken Kaniff please sit the fuck down? Yo.

Verse 1 identifies how Emimen and Aristotle severed ties. Aristotle messed around with Kim and got her pregnant. She had his child. He had sex with her twin sister Dawn also. That is what the lyrics “Severing ties with me because I had a baby with Kim" are referring to.

[Verse 1]

The real Ken is back and that's me
The other Ken Kaniff the one that starts with an "E"?
He ain't OG he's kind of Shady and Slim
Severing ties with me because I had a baby with Kim

And Dawn, her twin sister, yo I fucked her too
And she sucked Dean's dick dog and that's the truth
And she only got one tooth and that's no lie
I think he killed Dawn in the song Bonnie and Clyde

But yo, that's go about the Slim Shady LP
And see that track twelve was performed by me
But I ain't crying about it yo cause I'm telling the truth
I'm cool with Eminem, my bad, his real name's "Bruce"

Now you know that sorry I ought to burst your bubble
But this whole song's going to get my ass in trouble
I'm a codependent schizophrenic white boy too
I ain't dyed my hair cause Karen told me too

Aristotle explains on Verse 2 how he did not release this album for mass consumption but for the underground instead through the internet. The Ken Kaniff Show album was also distributed by hackers on peer-to-peer file sharing programs such as Napster, soulseek, imeem, and 4shared during 2002. Aristotle used to be signed to Web Entertainment but he realized money doesn't make you happy and fame fucks with your head. He was label mates with Eminem.

The real reason why Aristotle had disappeared from the public eye is because money was unable to get him satisfaction in order to make him happy and the fame (infamy) mess with his head. That is why Aristotle fell off the face of the Earth.

[Verse 2]
Every other fucking word will be a motherfucking curse
Cause this ain't for the radio, I made this shit for Napster
For hacker bastards and the Internet masters

I used to be signed to Web
But don't make you happy and fame fucks with your head
But look
Sony five-fifty is just shifty
My girlfriend strokes me better than those sissies
And she can tell you that Kaniff is crazed
Well-endowed and proud to be stuck in his ways

Hey, whatever happened to Royce da 5'9"?
I think he got dropped from Tommy Boy before he got signed
I guess Bad met Evil and he lost his mind
Him and Far Eyes should take time to write some rhymes
And that Aristotle guy is kind of nice with his
I'll let him spit the next verse and ride on these kids

Aristotle pokes fun at Royce da 5'9" about how he got dropped from Tommy Boy Records. He claims Royce da 5'9" lost his mind.

Hey, whatever happened to Royce da 5'9"?
I think he got dropped from Tommy Boy before he got signed
I guess Bad met Evil and he lost his mind
Him and Far Eyes should take time to write some rhymes
And that Aristotle guy is kind of nice with his
I'll let him spit the next verse and ride on these kids


Rex (Skit) is similar to the Cock Massage skit on The Slim Shady LP Snippet Tape. The skit is a nod to homosexuality. Rex (Skit) came from Eminem ‎- Stretch Armstrong Presents Eminem’s The Marshall Mathers LP Snippet Tape.  

Ken Kaniff calls up a male massager with intentions of getting laid. While portraying the Ken Kaniff character, the two get into a lengthy conversation over the phone.

Ken asks to speak to Rex. He is looking for a butt buddy to have sex with. Rex asks, “What do you need?” Ken says, “Someone to pal around with.” Then Ken asks for a cock massage. Rex doesn’t follow as does not understand Ken’s request. As soon as Rex figures out what’s going on, he hang ups on Ken and laughs.


The Men With Van (Skit) is where Eminem uses the Ken Kaniff persona to make, yet again, another prank call. Eminem does the voice instead of Aristotle. Ken looks for two strong men to have an orgy with. Ken ends getting pranked as they speak in another language and they hang up on him.

Ken calls the mover after reading their advertisement in the newspaper. Ken asks for the persons name. His name is Tom. Ken asks how big the van is. Ken then asks, “Is it big enough to fit a bed in?” “All I need is just one bed and two men” He gives them the address to his house. Ken’s address is 15843 Novara Street, Detroit, Michigan, US 48205.

He asks how much the price is. The going rate is $90/hr. Two strong men with a van is what Ken desires. Things seem to be going perfectly according to Ken’s plan. However this ends quickly.

The van rental service man Tom realizes the prank and says, “I fucked your mother.” in Russian (“я трахнул твою мать”). The rental service can be heard laughing. Tom hangs up on Ken after this.


Ken Kaniff takes a journey on to Mexico in the track Vato. Ken is across the border in Mexico. People think that he is Hispanic or of Spanish origin. He is being called Vato as he is mistakably considered to be Hispanic.

Ken is located 20 miles south of the US-Mexico border with no cash, nothing but a dollar and a quarter ($1.25 USD). He spent his last $20 dollars on the slut at the bar. She's sitting shotgun, waiting for Ken in the car. Now there's one thing left before he leave the country of Mexico. He needs a bag of rubbers so this chick can fuck him.

So he’s looking for a rubber when I see this dude. This dude says back behind the counter. The man says, “Me no hablo inglés”, which means “I don’t speak English”. What the fuck? "I just need a bag of condoms yo, I'll give you a buck" Since the man does not understand him, Ken is going to have to use body language and not in the way that you are thinking of. If you can't communicate you end up alone.

Ken Kaniff proceeds to whip his dick over the counter. However the tables turn on Ken. His dick was bigger than Ken’s. Ken Kaniff got steady played by a vato (the man over the counter). At the end of the track is where Ken Kaniff takes it up the ass and returns to the United States.


Cock Message is a nod to homosexuality. Ken Kaniff made prank calls to a massage parlor on the Cock Message skit. He calls for a “sensual body rub”. Cock Message came from Eminem ‎– Stretch Armstrong Presents Eminem's The Slim Shady LP Snippet Tape.  

Kreep With Me has a West Coast rap sound similar to the production by Dr. Dre. In fact, the production is so crystal clear that it sounds similar to a Dr. Dre production. It’s a fast food fiasco as Ken is extremely hungry. Things don’t go as planned at a fast food restaurant. So Ken goes crazy. Aristotle produced Kreep With Me.

Babysitter is about a bizarre look on the dangers of babysitting altogether. Ken Kaniff receives a called from a desperate father in search of a babysitter for his youthful daughter. The father is unaware that Ken Kaniff is too mentally unstable as he is not deemed fit to babysit anyone's children. Steel Pulse produced the song Babysitter.



*KEN KANIFF is a registered trademark on file with the State of California Copyright Board.
*Ken Kaniff has released 4 different albums. 3 which are impossible to find including the album sampler.
*Sometime in 2000 is when Aristotle relocated from Detroit to California and had started producing for San Francisco/Bay Area rappers. He still lives in the San Francisco/Bay Area to this day. Although he might switched careers by now.
*Joshua Arnold is Ken Kaniff.

5/5*****!