The Wet Spots - Ribbed for Pleasure album review
The Wet Spots - Ribbed for Pleasure is a salacious sexually provocative comedy album from the Canadian sex comedy duo The Wet Spots. The Wet Spots draw their fans into a world where the libido is celebrated and satirized. Internationally acclaimed cabaret duo The Wet Spots (Cass King and John Woods) write the most elegant songs about sexual intercourse (sex) that you will ever hear.
Threeway Rendezvous is about having a threesome during sexual intercourse.
Get on the freeway to a threeway rendezvous! The Wet Spots will pamper you and spoil you to bring your blood up to a boil. You won't forget and you won't regret a single thing by having a threesome with them. It's time to broaden your horizons and they’ll be happy to advise on. All the ways to make this number really swing!
And I think that The Wet Spots could show you quite a time. They’ve got a kinky proposition or a few. Don't try to say it's wrong. Get on the freeway to a threeway rendezvous. And bring some friends along too! I know the future's plain to see.
The Kinky Neighbor Song explains how The Wet Spots are the kinky next door neighbors.
It happens fairly often when they get to getting off. And then a soft and tender thud comes through the wall. They know that their neighbors can hear them It's their little way to cheer them on and egg them on since they apparently have no sex at all.
The Wet Spots suspect that they're a little shy. Yes, that must be the reason why. They never seem to look The Wet Spots in the face. They’ll have to have a "do" where they invite them over to get to know them in a confidential way. And The Wet Spots will say, “Hi there, we're your kinky neighbours! It's great that you came by to see the pad! Hi there, we're your kinky neighbours. How lovely that you brought your mum and dad. Won't you step in and have a gin and tonic? We'll mix it up and serve it in a nice colonic. Hi, we're your kinky neighbours. And we know how to treat our neighbours right.”
Have you met their friend Horatio? He's gifted at fellatio. But Geraldine's a Top and somewhat rigid. I see you have a massive fist. Are you a sadomasochist? If so, Manuel can handle up to 20 inches! They've learned to show up with their truncheons greased. If you should be awakened by some screaming late at night it only means their nipple clamps are on a little tight.
Smack My Bottom deals with the sadomasochist act of spanking one’s bottom. A reference to crossdressing is made during the song also. If you enjoyed their little song, maybe you'd like to sing along. If you're feeling in the mood, then grab that whore tramp next to you.
Dick and Jane were on a date. Dick said, “It’s getting late. How's about a little kiss?” Suddenly Jane grabbed her ankles and said, “How about this? Why don't you smack my bottom? Won't you smack my bottom 'till my tiny little heiny glows?”
Last year at the Easter Feast, Loula met a Parish priest. She asked the Parish priest to dress her up like an altar boy and smack her bottom. Apparently Loula gets off to being spanked. She said, “Father, don't be coy. You can dress me up like an altar boy!And then you can smack my bottom. Won't you smack my bottom 'till my tiny little heiny glows?”
Verse 2 deals with sadomasochist act of spanking one’s bottom and crossdressing. Loula asked the Parish priest to dress her up like an altar boy and smack her bottom.
Last year at the Easter Feast
Loula met a Parish priest
She said Father, don't be coy
You can dress me up like an altar boy!
The President is so uptight. He's always looking for a fight. The only thing he really liked were those fratboy games on hazing night. He said, “Smack my bottom. Smack my bottom 'till my tiny little heiny glows.”
4/5****!
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The Wet Spots - Hello Kinky album review
The Wet Spots - Hello Kinky is a salacious sexually provocative comedy album from the Canadian sex comedy duo The Wet Spots. Themes are explicit nonetheless. This album is even more kinkier than their debut album. The album deals with topics such as sexuality for the most part. The Wet Spots draw their fans into a world where the libido is celebrated and satirized. Internationally acclaimed cabaret duo The Wet Spots (Cass King and John Woods) write the most elegant songs about sex that you will ever hear.
The opening song George is about a bisexual man named George who is very bi-curious about his sexuality. The song explores the concept of bisexuality. He's known to locals as “Bi-curious George”.
The song uses that smooth lounge jazz sound which is very laid back. A relaxing percussion selection from a marimba is used throughout the song giving it that smooth laid back lounge jazz sound along with the drums.
George likes toast and coffee in the morning. George himself lives in a big apartment building in a nice neighborhood downtown. He lives in a nice neighborhood. He rides his bike and wonders what it would be like to kiss a guy. George is a guy who thinks he might be bisexual. He's bi-curious George. He's got taste.
They say all the good men you meet are either married or they're gay. He wonders what it would be like to kiss a guy. He's a guy who thinks he might be bisexual.
He picks up the check and then he goes back home again. Then he goes for cocktails with a charming handsome man. When George gets back to his apartment, he turns out the lights and wonders what it would be like to kiss a guy.
Labia Limbo is a Hawaiian coming of age song about when it's time for a boy to become a man, he will be engaged into trying sexual intercourse.
Way down south in a tropical land. When it's time for a boy to become a man, he soon will be trying to get lei’d. If a woman likes a man who is looking for sexual intercourse, he will likely score. He will lick the labia of a woman. He will lick her lovely labyrinthian loins.
The elders gather around and say, “If you want to get lots of play, just learn these words and soon you'll have it made.”
The elders gather around and say,
If you want to get lots of play
Just learn these words
And soon you'll have it made
Lip licky licky lick a labia limbo
Lick her lovely labyrinthian loins
Sing Pumonawalicka
Climb on I wanna lick ya
Ah weh!
Up the ol' Wazubee, baby
Lip licky licky
Learn to like it when you licky
When it's sticky, lucky, licky some more
You learn to like a lick a lady
Lady like you and you'll likely score!
And when young women come of age, the elders gather around and say, “It may sound dumb but to make men come running, all you have to do is hum. Ah weh! Up the ol' Wazubee baby”
And they've not done their lessons yet until they've mastered this duet because everybody knows it feels sublime to sing these songs at the same time! And of course there's always one or two who sees it from a different point of view.
Texas Annie is a woman named Annie who is a crazed sex nut with a heavy libido and owns a wide variety of numerous sex toys. She was hard living, hardcore, and promiscuous.
The song is performed in the genre of country music with a touch of outlaw county, Western swing, honky tonk, bluegrass, and progressive country. For the most part the song uses that outlaw county, honky tonk, and progressive country sound.
Well, Texas Annie had a big fat fanny and she drove a black sedan. She had Ben Wa Balls in her overalls and a trunk full of contraband. When the fog was thick, she'd pack her dicks and sneak across the county line. Because in Texas any tool for masturbation is a crime which is partially true for the most part. Because you can't buy a dildo in Texas. We don't touch ourselves down there round here, ya' hear? And it says so in the Bible. A vibe will leave you liable for a prison term of 27 years. There's no debate in the Lone Star State about who should wear the dong.
She kind of liked the risk of hard living, and promiscuity. She was a liquor drinking dildo running rascal with an electronic phallus for each housewife up in Dallas and an anal probe for every asshole in El Paso.
Annie would rent a room in a cheap saloon and start selling all her sex toys and pleasure devices. She'd be drinking whisky and getting frisky while conducting her affairs. And by the end of the night, she'd be good and tight with a girl on either side. She'd grab her saddle and a ping-pong paddle to take them for a ride until the good ol' boys (police) got their good ol' balls all tied up in a sling and arrested. The governor said, "I'll have her head, that butch is gonna swing." The boys (police) felt replaced and they felt disgraced because they chased her hard and long. There's no debate in the Lone Star State about who should wear the dong.
These lyrics indicate that Annie is a lesbian. “And by the end of the night, she'd be good and tight, with a girl on either side/And she'd grab her saddle and a ping-pong paddle and she'd take them for a ride”
Annie was in the bedroom picking out sex toys to use to pleasure her sexual desires. Annie had been caught by the governor's boys (police). Annie was to be tried in court before a jury of her queers and peers. (Oh, to be tried before a jury of you queers and peers.) She received the electric chair with a thousand volts in the derriere.
So they strapped her in and the governor grinned, "I guess you've had your fun. Shoulda made your money as a playboy bunny or by selling people guns. So goodnight, Texas Annie. I hope you burn in hell." She said, "I'll see you there, you son of a bitch, and I'll see your wife as well!"
So the governor flipped the switch. Annie began to twitch and vibrate all around. Smoke filled the room. There was a thunderous boom and a high pitched buzzing sound from the equipment. And as the air cleared, she'd disappeared, and a hundred eyes grew wide. The men were stiff with horror but their wives looked satisfied.
These lyrics tell Texans to challenge the Texas obscenity statute.
Cos you can't buy a dildo in Texas
So here's your chance to stick it to the man
Take every opportunity to whack off with impunity
Go fuck yourselves as often as you can
The song explained how you can't buy a dildo in Texas. Some of the information in the song was based on a factual basis and some of the information was based on urban myth.
There is and was a saying that you can't buy a dildo in Texas. Sadly this is true and was true at one time. At least up until 2008. This was due to an obscenity statue which is known as the Texas obscenity statute. Dildos are and have been often referred to as "cake toppers" in sex shops in Texas to bypass the law.
The Texas obscenity statute is a name for a Texas state law. The Texas obscenity statute is a statute prohibiting the sale of sex toys in Texas. The law was introduced in 1973. In 1973 the state legislature passed Section 43.21 of the Texas Penal Code which, in part, prohibits the sale or promotion of "Obscene device[s] mean[ing] a device including a dildo or artificial vagina, designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.”
Section 43.23 of the code deals with promotion ("''A person commits an offense if he ... possesses with intent to wholesale promote any obscene material or obscene device. A person who possesses six or more obscene devices ... is presumed to possess them with intent to promote the same.''") This section carries higher penalties, and for this reason, those businesses that trade in items covered under the act usually market them as 'novelties' or 'educational items'.
Now this obscenity statute and law was written in 1973 at a time when the US Supreme Court was dealing with obscenity laws and cases from around the country, takes a tough stance on people who have the device. Texas was not the only state in the United States facing this problem.
In February 2008, a federal appeals court overturned a Texas statute banning the sales of dildos and other sexual toys, deeming such a statute as violating the Constitution's 14th Amendment on the right to privacy.While the law was never formally repealed, in 2008 a US District Judge released a report declaring it to be "facially unconstitutional and unenforceable". So the law remained on the books from 2009 to 2013. In 2013 the law slowly and supposedly removed from the books.
Now Texas has an odd law on the books bans the possession of or promoting the use of more than 6 dildos. The law also labels the sex toy as an "obscene device" and declares it a crime if someone "possesses six or more obscene devices or identical or similar obscene articles is presumed to possess them with intent to promote the same." However this law is unconstitutional and unenforceable. So that law is not heavily enforced.
However cities like Austin and San Antonio allowed the sale of sex toys despite the Texas obscenity statute prohibiting the sale of sex toys in Texas. This is because police would end up locking up half of the town if they arrested everyone who distributed and owned sex toys. Prosecution under the statute is rare but has occurred on occasion.
Now Texas is not the only state where selling sex toys is prohibited. States such as Alabama, Utah, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Idaho, Montana, New Hampshire, and Louisiana have had laws and obscenity statues in their books prohibiting the sale of sex toys. Most of which were repealed for being unconstitutional and unenforceable. For example, there is an obscenity statue in Alabama called the Anti-Obscenity Enforcement Act.
You will not be executed in the state of Texas for possession of a dildo and/or any other form(s) of sex toys. That is simply an urban myth based on misconception and rumor. You will not serve 27 years in prison either. The maximum penalty you’ll receive possession of a dildo and/or any other form(s) of sex toys are hefty fines worth thousands of dollars.
Do You Take It is about pegging and anal penetration . The sexual act of a woman using a fake penis with a strap-on to penetrate a man’s anus or mouth.
Here is the plot of the song. A woman and man both love each other and are dating. This woman tells her man her father says he is nifty and he has heard of French poet Charles Baudelaire. They both agree that human rights abuses are unfair
He understands his feelings and he is not afraid to share them with the woman he is dating and loves. The woman thinks she could do something with his hair.
He smells nice and he is groovy. And they both like foreign movies. Her mother says he has that touch of class. The woman can see a shining future where they both dialog and nurture. But there's one last thing the woman feels that she needs to ask the man she is dating and loves. She asks her man if he takes it in the ass because he is beautiful and curvy. But unless he is some kind of pervert, there's no way him and her are gonna last.
When it comes to brains he has got them, But unless the man will play the bottom, the woman afraid she is gonna have to take a pass. The information that she needs to know is if his anus is pliable. He would do it if he loves her.
The woman asks her man if he takes in the ass. Because she has ordered in a shipment of the relevant equipment needed for pegging and anal penetration of course. She has got lubricant, poppers, and some grass. If he needs more information on this type of penetration, they could always take a correspondence class.
The man who is dating this woman he loves is not the kinda fella who can get off on vanilla. He need a little color and adventure in his sexual activity. Well it just so happens that she brought her Day-Glo strap-on dildo and some mescaline to heighten the effect.
This woman tells her man, "Well my father says you're nifty and you've heard of Baudelaire. And we both agree that human rights abuses are unfair. You understand your feelings and you're not afraid to share. And I think I could do something with your hair. You smell nice and you're groovy. And we both like foreign movies. My mother says you have that touch of class. Well I can see a shining future where we'll dialog and nurture. But there's one last thing I feel I need to ask.”
She proceeds to ask her man, “Do you take it in the ass? Because you're beautiful and curvy. But unless you're kind of pervy, There's no way you and me are gonna last.”
She then proceeds to tell him, “When it comes to brains you've got 'em. But, unless you'll play the bottom, I’m afraid I'm gonna have to take a pass. Well, you're adorable, reliable. But is your anus pliable? That's the information that I need. You would do it if you love me. If you're nervous, squat above me. You'll be able to control the depth and speed.”
She asks her man again, “Do you take it in the ass? 'Cause I've ordered in a shipment of the relevant equipment.I've got lubricant and poppers and some grass. If you need more information on this type of penetration, we could always take a correspondence class.”
The man tells his woman, “You see, I'm not the kinda fella who can get off on vanilla. No, I need a little color in my sex.”
This woman tells her man, “Well, honey pie it just so happens that I brought my day-glo strap-on and some mescaline to heighten the effect Ready? Do you take it in the ass?”
I’d Like To Come is about relieving sexual desires during sexual intercourse. John Woods wants one night with lots of lots of patience and some vibration to relieve his sexual desires during sexual intercourse. This is a John Woods solo in a way.
Those hoarse orgasmic screams. They make it look so easy in certain magazines and movies that people have seen. John Woods has known some girls who told him ride a bike or ride a pony. John tells them, “Honey, I'd ride a moose if only that would please me! I'm going where the lube is flowin'. The sun don't shine where I'll be glowin'. Wherever you're going, I'd like to come.”
John keeps his rhyme scheme on point with these lyrics: “And I'm going where the lube is flowin'/The sun don't shine where I'll be glowin'/Wherever you're going I'd like to come”
It’s the same old tale for each gender. You meet someone. You like them and you trust them. They take you to the border but you never get through customs! A girl who's given this much head ought to get to soak a man’s face instead.
John is gonna do it just once. And when he does it the first time, you know what he’s gonna do. He’s gonna do it again and again and again repeatedly. Let me tell you, when John is going to climax, it's going to be bigger than John Holmes on IMAX.
Sweaty and Stinky is about a kinky little adventure The Wet Spots have.
Cass King and John Woods are sweaty and stinky. They are both covered in lube. The lube they are covered in is anal lubricant. There's wine in Cass’s navel and there's jam on her boob. Don't ask me for more because she is not in the mood. Cass is sweaty and stinky. And she is covered in lube.
Cass and John went out last night hoping that they might find something or someone to do. Then Cass wound up seeing a handsome Jamaican and his girlfriend, and her girlfriend too. His trousers are torn and she's missing a shoe. Now the sun's coming up, but she is not coming down. And she works in about half an hour. This acid makes everyone look like a clown. A shower is what she needs.
It's been a good time but they had best make their move. Cass’s mom is downstairs cooking breakfast. She wouldn't approve of this sort of activity.
Toes explores the subject of foot fetishism. The song is not about hating feet. The song explains how everyone has one or two things that they don't like to do in bed and how The Wet Spots negotiate it.
Cass has had 857 lovers and this man is certainly the greatest of them all. He makes her more than whimper like no other. He takes her on the floor and off the wall. This man is like an acrobat from poontang circus. Cass has never even seen him wearing clothes. There's just one thing she needs to make it perfect.
Cass tells this man, “Don't lick my toes. It's disgusting and disturbing. It's upsetting and unnerving. All the things you could be perving on. Why must you choosing toes? I'm not a prude. I don't mind kinky hanky panky. You can pee on me or spank me with a second hand umbrella. But you'd better listen, fella. I should tell you right from hello. There's no way I'll let you tongue the yellow pustulating sores and blisters in between my toes.”
She tells him not to lick her toes because it's repulsive and she hates it. Having her toes licked does not make her feel sexy. It's completely overrated. I don't know if I can state it any clearer.
She tells him, “I know you've seen it in the pornos. You don't see me licking your toes. Maybe this should be some kind of indication to you that maybe it's not something I'm into. It doesn't make me feel sexy. I don't even feel like living when this sort of thing starts to happen to me. You know what it feels like? It feels like being flossed with warm liver, you know. Or stepping in something in the night! You're expectant and erect. And all I think is disinfectant mouthwash won't disguise the scent of all the fungus and the sweat. And all the filthy streets I've walked upon.” Cass asks him to find another way to show her his urbanity and stop with this insanity
Piggy Pile (Live) is a live song which is fun in its own way. The song appears to be a cover of a hardcore punk song.
Booty Call deals with Cass being with a booty call.
They’ve always had a bumpy ride and this is where it ends. Because he doesn't like her attitude and she doesn't like his friends. Cass can never be his baby but she can be his booty call.
But between him and her records, it's him that's got to go. He makes it past 2:30 AM and he is watching hoochy dancers. And he starts to get that old familiar feeling in his pants. If she is home she will answer. Then Cass can be his booty call.
He’s got two left feet. But he is the best damn lover that she ever had. There's not a chance that they can get back together because that won't ever happen. The man she loves is like her favorite underwear hanging by a thread but she can't take him out in public but he is comfortable in bed. But she can be his booty call.
We Don’t Wanna Talk About It explains how when there comes a certain time in life when certain things must change.
There is something special happening to you. Something very special that you're going through. Things are getting lower. Things are growing wide. And some very special things are happening inside. And The Wet Spots don't want to talk about it. There comes a certain time in life when certain things must change. We're certain that it's natural and that it's strange.
They know what you're feeling and what you're doing. And why you use conditioner more often than shampoo. Happy bouncing babies will come along one day after you have graduated and you've gone away. You'll know when the time is right. You'll know what to do.
5/5*****!!
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SWV - It’s About Time album review
SWV - It’s About Time is one of the best R&B/soul albums of 1992. The album was a platinum success due to their soulful vocal harmonies, catchy hooks, acapellas, and beautiful chorus lines. The album used a mixture of New Jack Swing, soul, pop, and hip hop. You’re Always On My Mind, Weak, Downtown, and Right Here are the highlights for this album.
You’re Always On My Mind is one of those beautiful love songs with infectious sultry vocal harmonies and beautiful melodies. These sisters singing and vocal melodies are sublime and beautiful. This song is just as good as their song Weak. This song defined 90s R&B/soul. Honestly this song could be described as a Coko and Brian Morgan duet. Coko and Brian Morgan should have recorded more songs together with just them two.
Coko can't seem to get the boy she loves outta her head. But there's something about him that makes Coko smile. She likes the way he makes her feel. Brian Morgan never thought he would find someone to love him. Coko is the only one he wants in his life. And the special touch Coko gives comes from her only. That's why she is always on his mind. Sometimes, she finds it hard to concentrate because thoughts of them together fill her head. It’s hard to sleep at night when he is away. So she holds her pillow tight like her thoughts of him.
This song is so good to the point where SWV should have re-recorded this song as 2 separate songs such as “She’s Always On My Mind” and “He’s Always On My Mind”. Of course with same instrumentation and arrangements intact.
The chorus for She’s Always On My Mind would go as:
She’s always on my mind
She’s always on my mind
She’s always on my mind
She’s always on my mind
The chorus for He’s Always On My Mind would go as:
He’s always on my mind
He’s always on my mind
He’s always on my mind
He’s always on my mind
These lyrics would be used also on both songs.
[Bridge 4x]
Thinking 'bout ya, thinking 'bout ya, I can't stop thinking 'bout ya
(On my mind)
Coming Home is about going home to the person you love.
Love is just like a storm. There is no sunshine at all to guide you their way. Don't be afraid as love is here to stay. You don't have to be scared. Love is strong.
Taj tells the man she loves, “Come here, boy. How many times do I have to tell you I'm never gonna leave? Home is where my heart belongs. Because home is where you are. Your love is so good to me. Words can't express.” Coko tells her man, I can't wait. “Gonna make love to you all night long.”
Lelee says the song Downtown wasn’t about going shopping. SWV wanted to make oral sex special for married people. So that’s what they did with the song Downtown. Downtown is a song about oral sex for married people.
Lyrics such as “Make the first step to release my emotions/To take the road to ecstasy”, “My desire is begging for the healing/Let me guide you down to the place to be”, We'll be making love all through the night/Until you uncover the mystery/Take it nice and slow/Baby, don't rush the feeling”, and “That's the love that you've been dreaming of” indicate the song is for married people. So do lyrics to Verse 2.
[Verse 2]
Keep on doing, doing what you're doing
'Til you feel the passion burning up inside of me
If you do me right
We'll be making love all through the night
Until you uncover the mystery
Take it nice and slow
Baby, don't rush the feeling
Now you know how you can make it happen, yeah
My desire is begging for the healing
Let me guide you down to the place to be
Those pounding bass lines and vintage thin synths are what make the song Downtown special along with their sultry vocal harmonies. Those pounding bass lines and vintage thin synths clearly indicate how 90s this song is.
5/5*****!!
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Avril Lavigne - Wish You Were Here single review
Wish You Were Here is one of the Avril Lavigne singles from 2011. This and Smile were her best singles of that year. Both songs use a huge touch of punk pop.
Wish You Were Here showcased the more vulnerable side of Avril. Even though Avril has this tough girl image, she also has a soft vulnerable side. The song is primarily driven by pianos and guitars with high quality production provided by modern technology.
Avril can be tough and strong. But with him, it's not like that at all. Avril has a vulnerable side too. A vulnerable side that she only shows nad displays when she is with him. There's a girl that gives a shit. Behind this wall. He justs walk through it.
Avril remembers all those crazy things he said and all those crazy things they did together. They didn't think about it consequently or how what were doing would affect their future. They just went with whatever they were doing. He left all those crazy things he said runnin' through her head. He’s always there. He’s everywhere. But right now Avril wishes he was here. Avril loves the way he is. It's who she is. She doesn't have to try hard. The truth is that Avril really misses all those crazy things he said.
The bridge hits hard right in the feels.
[Bridge]
No, I don't wanna let go
I just wanna let you know
That I never wanna let go, let go, oh, oh
No, I don't wanna let go
I just wanna let you know
That I never wanna let go, let go, let go, let go, let go
Let go, let go, let go, let go
Let go, let go, let go, let go
So does the chorus.
[Chorus]
Damn, damn, damn
What I'd do to have you here, here, here
I wish you were here
Damn, damn, damn
What I'd do to have you near, near, near
I wish you were here
Avril shows her gratitude and expresses thanks on Smile. She expresses gratitude for that special person in her life.
You know that Avril is a crazy bitch. She does what she wants when she feels like it. All Avril wants to do is loose control. But you don't really give a shit. Avril is fuckin' crazy rock 'n' roll. He stole Avril’s heart and he’s the one to blame. And that’s why Avril has a smile. It's been a while since everyday and everything has felt this right for. And now he turns it all around. And suddenly he is all Avril needs.
Last night Avril blacked out. She asks him what he put in her drink. “What did you put in my drink?” She remembers makin' out and then waking up with a new tattoo. His name was on her and her name was on him. She would do it all over again.
5/5*****!!
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