Best of Mixerr Album Reviews! Page 351

Schäffer the Darklord - Sex Rhymes album review

Schäffer the Darklord - Sex Rhymes is one of the lesser known provocative digital releases of 2015 which sort of flew under the radar. His style of music is similar to Misbehavin’ Maidens but is more raunchy, intuitive, and explicit. For example he pushes the envelope further on songs such as Pegged and Stranger. This is explicit dark comedy. All of the songs on the Sex Rhymes EP are explorations of “taboo” sexual behaviors and ideals.


Schäffer the Darklord has proven to us that he has got them harder with the title track called Sex Rhymes. These are sex rhymes! He’s got them dropping like necklines. The song deals with adult topics such as relations, fornication, intercourse, copulation, coupling, sex, and of course coitus.

Sex rhymes are the kind you like with a red wine. That hanky-panky. Learning carnal knowledge of laying with and knowing one in biblical senses are what sex rhymes are. Going all the way indeed. A bit of the old in-and-out. Horizontal mambo.


Yes explains how Schäffer the Darklord gets wild with a woman he loves. The song discusses the wild fun they have.

He just wants to bounce about and have some fun with a woman he loves. There's something wild behind her smile. Anywhere where they can get behind closed doors. So he gladly goes and grabs up a cab for them. But before that, he must insure that everything is well lit beforehand. So he gives her his full name and his address in a text message.

They had a couple drinks tonight. The woman becomes drunk and impaired. Schäffer the Darklord begins questioning her mental stability. So he asks her, “Are you impaired? Are you stumbling? Are you fucked up? Or are you aware and coherent? And quite capable of making decisions? Then cool. But I’ll keep asking for conviction.” He keeps asking for conviction purposes.

He knows she wants it when she reacts with intent. But first he needs that enthusiastic consent. He’ll need a lot more than a "yes" before they undress and progress.

Now he doesn't see the mere fact that she flirts with him as a sealed contract of their sexual certainty. It doesn't matter what she said when she was sexting him. It only matters how she says it when she is next to him. And he doesn't care if they have done it before. Or if tonight she changes her mind. Fall asleep or say "stop". Then that's when this stops.

But this isn't just about her consent or his desire. Let's talk about she wants and what lights her fire. Does she want him begging? (He’s into it.) Is she interested in pegging? (He’s into it.) This could be amazing once concerns are assuaged and they are on the same page with everything in black and white and crystal clearer than day. No blurred lines or shades of grey.  And if that sentiment is expressed, they can indulge to excess or only caress.


The song Monsters is about how monsters have sexual intercourse (sex).  The song Monsters is quite disturbing and cringeworthy. The song Monsters uses a huge touch of nerd rap and nerdcore.

Here is the plot of the song Monsters. Monsters attacked people causing mass chaos and panic everywhere. However people were in luck because these monsters did not want to harm them These monsters only wanted to have sexual intercourse.

We never even knew where they came from. Maybe the ocean floor. Others speculated that they came from outer space. But all we know is that they did come upon the planet's face! Those monsters are horrible things with gaping jaws, razor sharp claws, and wings. Those monsters are all covered in fur, feathers, and nails. Lizard-ish scales and tails they drag behind them leaving glistening trails.

They emerged like something straight from the worst dreams. Sirens started sounding at the sounds screaming. People ran and panicked in the streets as screams were heard as they got caught crying out,  "What fresh hell has our god brought?!" Doors were locked and guns were cocked. Shelters are loaded with supplies. But none of that was necessary. Seems we were in luck because the monsters weren't interested in us. They just wanna fuck. That’s the disturbing part.

Monsters are out there creeping and crawling. Shrieking and bawling. All those fucking monsters are horrible things. They're coming.

They were fuck monsters. Yeah, monsters who fuck monsters. Like sci-fi creatures from n X Rated Buck Rogers. Talk about cringeworthy. One-track reptilian brains fucking one another. Sex beasts with two backs. In many pairs going in and out of one another Fucking everywhere. And even their in hiding spots.

We shook to the core when we heard the monsters' awful roar. Each of them had 10 dicks. 10 clits and 10 tits. And countless freaky fingers filling every orifice. 10 pussies and 10 assholes. And 10 mouths.
From which the thickest viscus ropes of drool would spill out. They were sucking and fucking. Choking and gagging. They're jacking off. Watching the most graphic acts you can imagine like some hentai kaiju with sex toys and everything.

And soon we had a global epidemic on our hands. But our noblemen, presidents, and priests had hatched a plan. They phoned up France and warned them to pass on the bloody wrath. They tuned in Tokyo, Japan told them to just clear a fucking path since they never slept or ate.

They only topped or bottomed with caution. We watched the monsters drop from exhaustion. When one would fall from fatigue, the others would no doubt crawl inside its dead body and fuck their way out. Twisted into 69’s and triple dp’s. These beasties brought themselves to rug burned bloody knees. They fucked themselves to death.

And it was heard on the tube. They left behind ponds of cum. Streets slick and sticky with lube. And a whole lot of monster bodies that were gathered and burned. You may ask with some concern. But did they ever return? Well two of them remained. And they've been here all along. They just donned some human costumes. Now they're singing this song.


Pegged is about pegging. The sexual act of a woman using a fake penis with a strap-on to penetrate a man’s anus or mouth for sexual stimulation. Schäffer the Darklord gets pegged by this woman he is dating.

Have you heard that Schäffer the Darklord who wants to be pegged by a woman wearing a strap-on dildo? Did you think that he is the type of man who wants that? If you guessed that, that's an act that he likes. He is the sort of man who enjoy that type of sexual activity known as pegging.

This woman he is dating has got him pegged just right. He likes his sex fun, good, dirty, and harmless. He is feeling the energy coming from this woman who is thrusting and pounding his ass with her strap-on dildo. She has got Schäffer the Darklord on both knees.

That is what the lyrics, “Had you heard that I'm the sort of man who does that?/Did you think that I'm the type of guy who wants that?/If you guessed that that's an act that I like/Then girl, (oh girl)/You got me pegged just right/I like my fun good, dirty, and harmless” and “I’m feeling energy, we need a harness/Show me what you're working with, stat” mean.

He loves the way that she reveals her purple colored dildo with a slow tease. That's his favorite color. He got a lump in his throat. She got him choked up. He will bend over backwards for her. She will give it to him straight by pegging his ass with a lot of lube and some patience. That is what the lyrics, “Tonight, let's use a bad word or two/And I, will bend over backwards for you (for you)/Give it to me straight, I can take it/Just use a lot of lube and some patience” mean.

He can see some straight guys look like they don't buy it. But he, himself, will get pegged or die trying. He loves being her man. And sometimes he wants her in him. That is what these lyrics mean specifically, “I see some straight guys/Looking like they don't buy it/Well dudes, yeah you/Get pegged or die trying”

These lyrics to Verse 2 show how much Schäffer the Darklord loves getting pegged by a woman wearing a strap-on dildo.

[Verse 2]
Had you heard that i'm the sort of man who does that?
Did you think that I'm the type of guy who wants that?
If you guessed that that's an act that I like
Then girl, (oh girl)
You got me pegged just right
I like my fun good, dirty, and harmless
I'm feeling energy, we need a harness
Show me what you're working with, stat
Display it lover, oh I see it's purple, sick
That's my favorite color
Oh please, you got me on both knees
I love the way that you reveal with a slow tease
Nothing but love between grown-ups (grown-ups)
I got a lump in my throat, you got me choked up
Tonight, let's use a bad word or two
And I, will bend over backwards for you (for you)
Give it to me straight, I can take it
Just use a lot of lube and some patience


Stranger is one of those songs which pushes the envelope the farthest with mentions of necrophilia. Schäffer the Darklord went way too far here.

Schäffer the Darklord is located on the square at the corner of Orchard Street and Stanton Street in New York City, New York. He is sipping booze at The Slipper Room theatre. Everyone was there. There he met a stranger there whose eyes were blood shot red and face pale as a ghost.

He spoke to Schäffer the Darklord as he said, "Have you ever lost and loved? Have you ever loved and lost? You ever left a life of love and pain? And paid the highest cost? I have. I fell in love with an angel in rays but she was terminally ill. Doctors had given her days. She made a final wish that made my blood run cold. Wanted to go on her own terms. Awash in love's throes. Said I'd rather die by you in our passion so endless than in the ICU in those tubes like a necklace. I took her hand in mine. I took her throat in the other. I watched the dying lights behind the final smile of my lover. I dressed her and I kissed her. Fled with little delay before the ambulance arrived to take my baby away down to St. James Infirmary and I saw my baby there. She was stretched out on a long white table. So sweet, so cold, so fair."

Then he explained his story further and said, "Now what was I to do? Where was I to run even if I got away? How could I live with what I'd done? Even though I'd only honored her request to ease her leaving, I know there ain't a juror in the world who'd believe me. And since the thought of life without my lover was hell, I decided that I'd join her with a final bow as well. Heart-broken, guilt-ridden. At my rope's end. But first I needed just to see her again."

So I went down to that old hospital later that night. I snuck in and found her covered under flickering lights. A subtle smile still upon her face. Her body now breathless and my hand print still lay upon her like a necklace. I kissed her cold lips. Removed a rose from my pocket. Made my way to the door before I froze and locked it. And there down in St. James at half past nine, I made love to my baby one last time down at St. James Infirmary and I saw my baby there. She was stretched out on a long, white table. So sweet, so cold, so fair."

The stranger told his tale as downed his drink and he stood. He spoke to Schäffer the Darklord about a last request. His face like etched wood.

He said, "When I die, bury me in straight-laced shoes, a posh black suit, and sing the St. James Blues. And slipped a twenty dollar bill inside my lapel so I can tip the ferryman when I arrive in hell. I never caught his name. His face I never recognized. But his exit was the last time that he was seen alive. Some said he was tragic. Some said he was reckless. When they found him that night wearing his belt like a necklace. And some cried about the wicked pleasures of men. But I smiled knowing soon they'd be together again down at St. James Infirmary and they saw each other there they were stretched out on long white tables. So sweet, so cold, so fair. Let her go. God bless her wherever she may be. She may search the whole world over. But she'll never find a man as depraved as he was."

Have you ever lost and loved? Have you ever loved and lost? You ever left a life of love and pain? And paid the highest cost? Well this man has.

He fell in love with an angel in rays but she was terminally ill. Doctors had given her only days to live given by data based on their grim prognosis. She made a final wish that made his blood run cold. She wanted to go on her own terms. Awash in love's throes. She said she’d rather die by him in their passion so endless rather than in the ICU in those tubes like a necklace. He took her hand in his. He took her throat in the other. He watched the dying lights behind the final smile of his lover. He dressed her and kissed her. Then he fled with little delay before the ambulance arrived to take his lover away down to St. James Infirmary and he saw his lover there. She was stretched out on a long white table. So sweet, so cold, so fair.

Now what was he to do? Where was he to run even if he got away? How could he live with what he had done? Even though he’d only honored her request to ease her leaving, he knew he was coherent And quite capable enough to know that there wasn’t a juror in the world who would believe him. And since the thought of life without his lover was hell, he decided that he’d join her with a final bow as well. Heart-broken and guilt-ridden. At his rope's end. But first he needed just to see her again.

So he went down to that old hospital later that night. He snuck in and found her covered under flickering lights. A subtle smile still upon her face. Her body now breathless and his hand print still lay upon her like a necklace. He kissed her cold lips. Removed a rose from his pocket. Made his way to the door before he froze and locked it. And there down in St. James at half past 9 PM, he committed an act of necrophilia by making love to her one last time down.

When he dies, he wants to buried  in straight-laced shoes, a posh black suit, and sing the St. James Blues. And have a $20 dollar bill slipped inside his lapel so he can tip the ferryman when he arrives in hell. He never caught his name. His face is something he never recognized. But his exit was the last time that he was seen alive. Some said he was tragic. Some said he was reckless. When they found him that night wearing his belt like a necklace. And some cried about the wicked pleasures of men. But he smiled knowing soon they'd be together again down at St. James Infirmary and they saw each other there they were stretched out on long white tables. So sweet, so cold, so fair. Let her go. God bless her wherever she may be. She may search the whole world over. But she'll never find a man as depraved as he was.

These lyrics explained where Schäffer the Darklord was located.

[Verse 1]
At the corner of Orchard and Stanton on the square
Sipping booze at the Slipper Room, everyone was there
I met a stranger there, his eyes blood shot red
Face pale as a ghost, he spoke to me as he said

The sample in this song comes from Louis Armstrong - St. James Infirmary Blues. Many of the lyrics are variations of/on the original lines as well.

I went down to St. James Infirmary
Saw my baby there
She was stretched out on a long, white table
So cold, so sweet, so fair

Let her go, let her go, God bless her
Wherever she may be
She can look this wide world over
But she’ll never find a sweet man like me

When I die bury me in shoes,
I want a Boxback coat and a Stetson hat
Put a twenty dollar gold piece on my watch chain
So the boys will know that I died standin' pat


5/5*****!!

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Point Blank - Bad Newz Travels Fast (original album) album review

The original Point Blank - Bad Newz Travels Fast album was the hardest underground Houston rap album of 1999. He is a truly gifted lyricist with a unique method. No matter whoever he raps with.

Not many people know this but the original Point Blank - Bad Newz Travels Fast album was supposed to be released by Commerce Street Records on June 1999 as advertised in the Source Magazine. That was the same advertisement that was designed by Pen N Pixel. Now this was when Commerce Street Records was located on East Commerce Street & North Walters Street (Commerce & Walters). Sean Tompkins financially backed the album and owned the album title. Sean Tompkins and Mike B produced a majority of his album.

However the 1999 version of Point Blank - Bad Newz Travels Fast was not released on Commerce Street Records. Point Blank wanted to release that album on Commerce Street Records but realized he still owed Big Tyme Recordz an album as stated in his contract and there a dispute regarding royalty rates between him and Sean.

So Point Blank and Russell Washington of Big Tyme Recordz had to pay Sean Tompkins for the album title and name. Point Blank took a few of the songs he recorded for Commerce Street Records with him.  That is why Point Blank - Bad Newz Travels Fast was released on Big Tyme Recordz in 2000 instead.

Point Blank recorded different music for that version of Point Blank - Bad Newz Travels Fast instead of the 2000 version of Point Blank - Bad Newz Travels Fast which is why the tracklist is different. Song such as Wrecking and Go Live were recorded for this album. However Sean kept most of the songs he produced for Point Blank for the excluding the intro and title track. Sean used some of the tracks on those Doc Holliday mixtapes and other on compilations from Doc Holliday Productions during the 2000s.


High with tha Blanksta explains how everyone wants to get high with Point Blank and how he was living in the 1990s. This is the greatest song to play when you're fucked up out of your mind.

PSK-13 scooped Point Blank up. Now it's time to roll. Creepin through South Park on the beamer patrol with triple beam lasers on their guns. He got the hoes in the wind. Point Blank just lost his beeper at the flea market. Damn. None of his hoes won't be paging him any time soon. But it's Friday and he is tight. Point Blank is tryin to find some more drugs. Man they be hating him at the club. But he’ll roll with the click because they might get in some shit. Another night, another fight. When it's time to get it on, then it’s on. Especially when fucking around with Gangster Disciples (GDs). So watch yourself in that zone. But it's all good because Point Blank is down for whatever .

The blanksta is in the house as he creeps up on a come up. He’s gotta make that money, man. You wanna get blow? Don't be scared to scream. Because everybody in the parking lot be telling him, “I wanna get high with tha blanksta.” Just chill and hit the Swisher Sweet.

After the club him and PSK-13 stop to go rob some Japs (Japanese people). Bitches jammed in the car. Point Blank even have two hoes on his lap. Blowing big and taking swigs. Drinking syrup and smoking sticks. Point Blank hopes he won’t end up incarcerated for raping one of these bitches.

Somebody yelled and he heard a glass hit the floor. And a bitch out screamed. .38 just couldn't wait. They would've locked his ass back up. You should've seen how he had that hoe backed up against the bed. Head banging on the wall. Point Blank is fried out jamming his Screw Tape. Everybody was naked. Rolled and fried out. Just in case you ain't know, Point Blank fucked all of them stupid hoes. Now it's time to hit the door.


South Side Groovin explains how the SouthSide of Houston, Texas was running things with the rap scene. The song features Big T, Point Blank, PSK 13, Trae, DJ Screw, and Z-Ro. Trae was putting it down with his verses on the song.

Everybody out here is still representing to the fullest. The Screwed Up Click is holding it down for sure. Trying to hold it down, know I'm saying?

Trae is sitting low behind tints. Swanging to SouthwestHe’s got a tech to the chest penetrating the plex in the Dirty Third that's going off like slugs. Shotgun up in the frame. Beating the boulevard and swanging in throwed cars. Trae don't play. Blue over grey with a K finna to make your day. Like niggas at Cornbread's sipping the bar. Like Roy Jones when he’s breaking a jaw. Like two dykes in a ménage à trois.

Lyrically he can't be stopped. Niggas can't see him even if he was 3-D. SLAB be raw pimping a pen in the wind for the dividends and a big body Benz with the bubble lens, Cartier lens, and Cartier frames with the blue lens moving down I 10. On the Southside 84's and vogues glide candy sprayed and are looking so live.

Trae is on his grind steadily stacking all of his ends. Moving slow. He’s got a lot of flow and a lot of thugs from the South Side to the block. All of the ghetto motherfuckers are steady showing love. Throwing a deuce in the air. I know you feeling them.

Niggas ain't ready for what Trae does. He’s pull up on the block with grey on the blue with four 18's and banging Screw. I don't give a damn if y'all hate him. When it comes to rap, y'all can't fade him. Trae is in the zone throwed off. Niggas wanna think he fell off. But that is not the case.  Trae stays four steps ahead of y'all. So when he feels plex, he will haul them niggaz off. He has to watch his back all the time. Trae is making niggas squash the chat. Trae proved his points and paid his dues., So you better back back.

Trae and Point Blank are on the grind full time down in H-Town. They are SUC affiliated and clicked up with killas Niggas hate it. They are still on point when gripping on the grain. They stay on the paper chase. They stay ahead of the race on the paper chase. Being educated in the streets of H-Town is a must. Pulling up in the wide body fo' do', with the missing top in the Coupe or foreign car slabbed out. Screens on glow coming out the stash spot. Soldiers that's united for the cash.


Go Live was also put on a compilation called Young Southern Playaz ‎– Dirty 3rd which was released in 2000. K-Sam of P.K.O., Point Blank, Down and Dirty Clique (DDC), and UNLV all had guest spots on that song.

The song has that fast paced New Orleans bounce sound. It don’t get no liver than this. Mr. Joshay sure knows how to get people listening with his raps and his smoothness. He has finesse and that Texas swang. Lil Ya gives the song that New Orleans bounce sound and Dirty South sound. Happy Perez and Ricé engineered the song.

5/5*****!

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Down and Dirty Click - Only Gangsta single review

The Down and Dirty Click - Only Gangsta single has a mixture of gangsta rap and gumbo funk. Think gangster funk/gangsta funk of the 90s. The single was issued on a DAT tape (ADAT) with another song for radio stations to play and promote the single. All 2 songs were mastered by Ricé. Down and Dirty Click had a radio single which had the same name as the working title for their album and a buzz in San Antonio as a group back in 1998.

Their album of the same name was supposed to be released by Commerce Street Records in August 1998. However that did not happen because San Antonio Police Department (SAPD) held the DAT tapes for their album as evidence in a capital murder case of the engineer. The masters from Ricé’s studio were also held as evidence for at least a year. A year later in 1999, DDC was found innocent and SAPD returned the DATs to Sean Tompkins and Ricé.


Only Gangsta is a song performed by the rap trio Down and Dirty Click. Only Gangsta tells us that we aren’t the only people caught up in this life of crime. We aren’t the only ones trying to have fun under the sun. Tomorrow is not promised. What little time we have is borrowed and compromised.

Sometimes it’s hard to shake off the stress in your brain. It is hard living in these streets of despair. Scrubs and haters know nothing about coming up in the game of life. Players be tripping off the same old thing by talking about what they did. Then they are suddenly on the run. It really don’t make no sense. Is it over a trick or robbery that players be tripping off the same old thing? It’s really a shame that busters and haters don’t know the game. The game is life or death in these streets. Living day to day. Dealing with misery, pain, and death. Those are the ugly sides to the grime realities of street life.

The song was recorded in 1997 and used on the Runnin’ Blind compilation. Only Gangsta was produced by Ricé. 17 Freeze was the one who played the funky guitar. Stephanie Pint Gispson is the female who is singing.

Only Gangsta was the underground single that gave Down and Dirty Click a buzz in San Antonio, Texas. In fact, Sean Tompkins helped Only Gangsta get some radio play. Him promoting this song is what gave Down and Dirty Click a buzz in San Antonio. Only Gangsta was the buzz single for their debut album of the same name. Down and Dirty Click - Only Gangsta album was advertised in the Runnin Blind compilation and set to be released on August 1998.


Run But Can`t Hide is one of the two songs Ricé produced for the DDC album. This song was recorded and produced in 1997 at Music Box Studios when it was located at Pinn Road in Southwest San Antonio. Ricé had his hands on this one here. However he was producing for other artists at the time.

Not many people know this but the song Run But Can`t Hide is one of their more rarer songs that people outside of San Antonio don’t know much about.

5/5*****!

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